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If your scrolling time during the day (and night) has left any lasting impression on you, it’s that being your most authentic self 24 hours a day is the secret to living your best life. And this is probably true.
Always been an oversharer? Self-soothing reflection along with constantly traumatizing your main crew turns into a simple routine faster than uploading an average of five stories a day. Conversely, prefer to keep everything on the down low? Maintaining an unspoken sense of secrecy along with one obscure post a year should take care of your street cred.
All this is to say, no matter how authentic you think you are, ultimately, most of us are always posing. Seeking attention as an adult has been portrayed as immature, but at the same time aren’t ‘low-key’ people demanding it too with their ultra-mainstream aura? Not everyone may have access to a ‘viewer’, but for most, a conference call with just one – yourself – is enough for verification. Those who consider this system ideal should know that mental health is being discussed more than ever before, but sweeping inaction under the rug is like suppressing a problem.
During a conversation with The Wall Street Journal, frankenstein Alumnus Jacob Elordi was asked what is one lost art that you wish would come back into style? Without hesitation and with a confident smile he said, “The art of shame. I want people to be able to feel shame a little more.”
Although this statement sounds like the perfect headline and your average Reel clip that dominated the Internet for a few weeks before dying, Jacob may be nervous when it comes to deeper dialogue – has accountability for oneself as a concept been completely lost? We asked an expert to weigh in.
Dr. Preeti Singh, Senior Consultant Clinical Psychology Paras Health Gurugram says, “There is a growing encouragement to celebrate self-expression in every form, although not always with enough consideration for its impact on others. Reintroducing healthy shame doesn’t mean moral policing or restricting individuality. It means cultivating emotional awareness and restoring the ability to understand when our actions cross boundaries, and to adjust with responsibility rather than defensiveness.”
This is easier said than done, when 60-second snippets of social media have the power to alter our brain chemistry, even if temporarily. “Constant exposure to curated content and public opinion has normalized levels of self-presentation, which can make people less sensitive to their internal emotional signals,” says Dr. Singh. Specifically addressing the wave of content creation, she adds, “We also see a growing tendency for people to share deeply vulnerable moments online, including a breakdown or an intimate emotional state, not always because they are seeking support, but because they are ready to broadcast every emotion to an audience. This can lead to the externalization of emotions rather than internal reflection. Instead of asking themselves why they feel hurt or guilty, they turn to likes and dislikes as a form of emotional regulation. When this happens repeatedly, a person becomes detached from the kind of introspection that is necessary to develop healthy shyness.
But what exactly is the line between healthy and harmful shame? “Harmful shame targets the individual, not the behavior. Instead of thinking that something went wrong, the person begins to believe that they are the problem. Healthy shame is very different. (It) plays the role of an internal compass because it alerts us when our behavior goes against our values or when we have caused discomfort or hurt to someone else. It supports empathy and accountability by creating a moment of pause that allows us to reflect on our actions and make meaningful improvements. Is.”
Addressing the current landscape (or if we can refer to it as a crisis) of modern behavior, Dr. Singh reflects, “What we are seeing today is behavior that is more individually driven and more externally dependent. Many people rely on external feedback from social approval or trends rather than relying on internal cues like conscience, empathy or responsibility to discern what is acceptable.”
So was Jacob really right in his condemnation? “When people talk about turning back shame, they’re really talking about restoring a sense of balance. It’s about helping individuals reconnect with empathy, boundaries, and the ability to examine their behavior without falling into self-loathing. In a world where everything is public and expressive, there is value in returning to quiet self-reflection that strengthens accountability and emotional maturity,” says Dr. Singh concluded.
It seems that brothers and children around the world should perhaps hesitate.
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