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In today’s love landscape, finding love is not for the faint of heart, whether it’s through dating apps, friends setting you up or involving parents. And if you’re on the dating scene, you’ve probably come across dating terms like situationship, breadcrumbing, love-bombing, or ghosting. A new term making waves on social media is zombie dating or zombing.
What is this?
Ghosting is when someone you’re casually dating ignores you and stops responding altogether. Taking it a step further, zombifying is a term used to suggest returning from the dead, relationship expert Shahzeen Shivdasani explains, “This is when someone who ghosted you suddenly shows up again. It appears from. This could be via text, phone call, social media or any other means of communication.
a common occurrence
Media professional Reema Sen lived for six years with a man who was not committed to her. “I was a young girl and I was talking to this guy,” she says. We decided to meet. He picked me up in his car and we drove around for a while. He asked me to come to his house and after reaching home I felt so happy and loved.” But then the zombieming started as he would say he was busy or would go silent about me on the radio and after a while Would reach me. “His behavior made me feel very bad,” says Sen. It made me question everyone I met. Even today, I push away anyone who tries to connect with me emotionally because I feel like they will leave me one day.’
Ahana Patel, on the other hand, immediately spotted the trend and put a stop to it. “I met a guy on a dating app, and while I kept our conversations clear and prompt, it just wasn’t the same for him. He wouldn’t respond for hours and then would come back without saying hello or even a simple apology. At first, I didn’t think much of it, but after a month, he stopped responding altogether. Recently, he reached out to me, gave no explanation about his disappearance and showered me with compliments. We decided to meet for coffee. On the day of the date he stood me up. A week later, he messaged me again with no explanation, just a message, “Yo cutie! Tomorrow?”
However, it is not just women who face this problem. Ajay Lodha met Janhvi in 2018 and became friends. “We were friends for some time and when someone in her family had a medical emergency, I helped her with money. After that, I never heard back from him again. She reached out to me again late last year and told me a painful story. I was in a difficult situation emotionally because my grandmother had recently passed away and I needed support from someone I knew. But he had a habit of disappearing for a few months and then reappearing without any excuse or justification. She was always asking for financial help.” Since he assumed they were good friends, Lodha says his prank on her was “definitely hurtful”. “Our friendship seemed trivial because she didn’t respect me and only helped me when she needed help. When I recognized his patterns I stopped giving him the time of day.
How to recognize someone?
Shivdasani explains that if you have been possessed by someone and they suddenly reappear in your life without any explanation, behaving as if nothing has gone wrong, then you have become a zombie. . “The most common reasons someone might look this way again may be boredom, needing a source of entertainment, looking for validation or simply thinking about themselves. You can easily spot a zombie because they will wait for enough time to pass, hoping that you have forgotten about their rude ghost behavior,” says Shivdasani.
How to deal with someone who is a zombie?
When dealing with someone who has upset you, I would strongly suggest not letting him back into your life. Relationship expert Shahzeen Shivdasani says, “First of all, there should be a reason for his initial disappearance that shows accountability. If they give you that, and you find the reason valid, and believe the person can still add value to your life, then you can consider letting them come back. However, if you have been given no explanation, and the person is trying to get back into your life, know that it is for their own reasons. Don’t let anyone treat you like an option. Remember, if they have already gotten away with this behavior, it is only a matter of time until they do it again.
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