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Sep 13, 2024 07:40 PM IST
From being emotionally shut down to the fear of being vulnerable, here are the reasons why we avoid getting into a relationship.
Commitment issues are a recurring problem faced by people of our generation. People often feel the need to be connected to someone, but they don’t feel like taking the first step to commit to them for the long term. However, often the fear of commitment is driven by fear of abandonment and childhood trauma. “Recognizing why you might push people away can be a powerful revelation. If you’ve been hurt before, opening up can feel like an impossible risk. You may have learned to trust yourself, believing that needing others makes you weak, or even feeling overwhelmed by intense emotions and not sure how to handle them. These patterns, often shaped by past experiences or unfulfilled childhood needs, can prevent you from forming the deep connections you truly crave,” wrote therapist Shaurya Gehlawat.
Also read: Is your partner not committed to your relationship? Know why
Fear of being unsafe:
When we are ridiculed or criticized for being weak, we tend to close ourselves off and create a boundary. This prevents us from receiving the emotional warmth we need in a relationship.
Also read: How stress in relationships can lead to commitment problems
Unmet Needs:
When our childhood needs are not met by our parents and caregivers, we grow up to become adults who suffer from a behaviour pattern of not being able to trust or depend on anyone. We avoid sharing our needs with others.
We think that needing someone is a sign of weakness:
When we have to live our entire lives on our own, we take pride in being independent and emotionally strong. Therefore, we tend to view the need to be attached to someone as a sign of weakness.
Also read: 6 types of anxiety that are healthy for a relationship
Shutting down emotionally:
When we see that the feelings are getting intense, we tend to distance ourselves from that relationship. Instead of addressing the problems, we shut ourselves off and avoid communicating in a healthy way.
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