Dealing with Grief: Tips for Surviving the Relapse and Loss of Loved Ones

Loss often feels very bad but we have to allow space for feelings of sadness, confusion, anger to emerge. Grief progresses in a set sequence, where the first response is denial, then anger, followed by depression and bargaining, and finally acceptance.

In an interview with HT Lifestyle, Mansi Poddar, Trauma Sensitive Psychotherapist, shared, “Anger can manifest itself as blame or frustration. Denial involves resistance to reality. Depression can be deep before bargaining involves an attempt to ‘undo’ the harm, and acceptance results in understanding and peace but it is not all linear.

He revealed, “Loneliness is common, but to deal with grief, it is important to reach out to others. 70 percent of the time people will have great difficulty expressing their feelings. Although communication is helpful when grieving, people often feel embarrassed when expressing it. Sometimes, just being with supportive people and not being ready to talk about the loss right away can be enough.

“Let your friends and family help,” he suggested. Take advantage of the love and goodwill of your friends and family. They may not know what to do or may be asking ‘How are you?’ But will not be ready for your reaction. Let them know what they can do to help. Let them know when they are helping. Let them know that you are grateful for their help and that what they are doing helps. Look at your faith and explore the idea that we are never alone. Consider attending a support group. Seek help from a grief-trained therapist if you feel you need it. Take advantage of your personal support groups. “Use social media with caution if you think other people will make hurtful comments.”

Bringing her expertise to this, Sandy Dias Andrade, psychotherapist and founder-director of the Just Being Center for Mindfulness and Presence, said, “We also need to engage ourselves in small measures to connect with what is essential. It is this oscillation between restorative processes and processes that give rise to feelings of loss that have been found to be most healing.”

He highlighted that we need to remember that:

• There is no one standard way to grieve. You have to trust your own process of healing from grief.
• Suffering often seems endless. Although grief has no time limit, how we process our grief changes over time.
• If we have moments of laughter or lightness, it does not mean that we are forgetting that person. We have more space to open up to all of our life experiences and maintain our connection with our loved one.