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Do you remember Preeti (Kiara Advani) from Kabir Singh or Badrunisa (Alia Bhatt) from Darlings. Both the poor women were so immersed in love that even the torture of their partner seemed like love to them. They used to get beaten up but were thankful that their love also loved them. This is exactly like the lyrics of Pakistan’s famous song ‘Lab Pe Aati Hai Dua Ban Ke Tamanna Meri’ based on Allama Iqbal’s poem – Biwi ko nahi bhave hai bhaav karna, if he threatens then I am satisfied and I don’t slap, if he slaps then I am thankful that he doesn’t slap. Most of the women in our country live under the misconception that every restriction, abuse and slap on the cheeks of their husband in anger is their way of expressing love. Is this really love or not? Love Bombing ,
Another name for a bitter relationship is love bombing
Love Bombing In this, the partner is abused psychologically and emotionally but at the same time expensive gifts or flowers are given to him/her. Excessive love is expressed by taking him/her on dinner, dating or long drives. Unnecessary praises are given so that the relationship does not end even after harassing the partner. Girls often Love Bombing The girl falls prey to this. Love bombing is another name for gaslighting. It starts immediately after dating or marriage.
You must obey your husband in everything!
In comparison to the world the divorce rate in India is only 1% whereas NCRB According to the report, more than 1 lakh women are victims of domestic violence. The divorce rate is also low because National Family Health Survey 2019-21 In a survey conducted in 2019-20, 83.8% women agreed that they should obey their husbands in everything. Pew Research In 2015 also, 9 out of 10 Indians believed the same. Even if the husband throws away the plate of rotis because there is excess salt in the vegetable, pulls the wife’s hair or abuses her, the husband is good because he loves her.
In the year 2023, 28811 cases of domestic violence were registered in the National Commission of Women (Image-Canva)
Is tolerance another name for love?
The wife’s screams of pain and the marks of beating on her body vanish with a few loving words from the husband. ‘If he did not love me, why would he beat me? And if you did not love me, why would you tolerate it’ Is love another name for tolerance? In Gurugram Relationship Counselor Dr. Geetanjali Sharma She says that strength is shown only on those who are considered weak. The husband also vents out all his anger on the wife because she is ready to suffer. A woman tolerates till she is afraid, the day her fear goes away, she can overpower her husband. Physical torture is understandable. But her mind is played with in such a way that she does not understand that she is being mentally abused.
Why does love make women emotional?
Someone rightly said that love is blind. Women in love are not able to understand what kind of brain game is being played with them. Actually, the lymphatic system of women’s brain is larger in size than that of men, which makes them more emotional. Love hormones called serotonin and oxytocin are also released more in women. PEW’s Research According to 93% women marry only to get love. They need support along with love. Despite torture, when men talk to them in a loving manner, women get confused and are compelled by their mind. At the same time, women start feeling insecure that what will happen to them if their husband leaves them? Women who are housewives also worry about money and how they will spend their lives.
Torture by a vicious partner makes the victim mentally ill (Image-Canva)
Humiliating someone in front of others is also abuse
Many women are very happy with their husbands because their husbands neither abuse them nor raise their hand on them. But if the husband ever insults his wife at a wedding or party in front of his parents or friends on the taste of food or dressing sense, is that right? Commenting on the wife in front of others or insulting her is also abuse.
Control is on the mind
In this, a person’s ability to think is destroyed and he is made a puppet in the hands of the person. That means controlling the mind of that person. Love Bombing or you say Gaslighting This happens only when the person is constantly proven wrong, he is repeatedly shown something that is far from reality so that he feels that whatever is happening is true. Many times partners adopt this to cover up their mistakes and prove themselves right.
Understand your own worth
If you apologize for every little thing, you are blamed even when you are not at fault, everything you say is denied, you are humiliated, words like stupid and crazy are used, your memory and your very existence is questioned, then you are not in love but in pain. Some people call this terrible form of relationship gaslighting and some call it love bombing, but instead of naming the relationship this way, it is better that you understand your own value and save yourself from this mental torture.
Tag: Relationship, parties to the relationship
first published : September 15, 2024, 1:13 pm IST
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