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Sep 18, 2024 08:39 PM IST
From finding the root cause to setting boundaries, here are some ways to avoid over-apologizing.
When we apologize too much in a relationship, it undermines our self-worth and presence. Whether it’s a simple apology or a long one, when we get into the habit of apologizing for everything, our self-confidence wanes and we start believing that we are responsible for everything that goes wrong. Therapist Shaurya Gehlawat wrote in a social media post, “Frequently apologizing can undermine our self-confidence and give others mixed signals about our self-worth. It is important to evaluate our tendency to over-apologize and consider how this habit affects us and our relationships with others.” The therapist further shared some tips on how we can stop apologizing too much.
Also read: What is true forgiveness? Therapist gives tips
Identify the root cause:
We need to work on self-awareness and try to dig deeper and find the reasons why we apologize too much. Whether it is insecurity or fear of conflict or a need for validation – when we know the root cause of this habit, we can address it better.
Also read: What is self-awareness? How is it useful for us; therapists explain
Replace apologies with appreciation:
Instead of apologizing for every little thing, we can appreciate their patience and perseverance in dealing with the situation.
Stop and consider:
Not every situation calls for an apology. Before immediately apologizing for something, we can pause and try to understand if there is another way to express the feelings in that situation.
Rewrite the statement:
Not every statement should sound like an apology – this diminishes our own value. We can try to rephrase the statement to better express our needs.
set boundaries:
We don’t need to apologize for asserting our needs and expectations. When we do that, we lose our value. We need to set boundaries and prioritize our needs and desires and not apologize about it at all.
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