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In our rapidly developed social scenario, the conversation around mental health is eventually attracting the mainstream attention that they deserve. Nevertheless, it is surprising to see that we often ignore one of the most powerful triggers of this issue: a lack of emotional relationship.
This occurs when there are no vigorous arguments or visual quarrels, but each partner starts closing emotionally, when they are physically sharing the same room, bed, or even responsibilities, they still feel disconnected, unheard and unseen.
Busy in fixing the apparent signs of marital discord, we ignore this important aspect as ‘just one stage’, without feeling that it causes chronic stress, anxiety, or even depression in individuals of all ages. Smiling Instagram photos, the Dream Couple Vacation Reels and Co-Panchayat programs, couples feel emotionally alone.
In an interview with HT lifestyle, a certified doubles doctor trained in an emotionally centered therapy (EFT), and a clinical psychologist, Bhavvya Kusulas, discussed the major factors that fuel fuel to this silent epidemic, which could potentially shape India’s next major mental health crisis.
1. Neither fights nor connection
Sachin says, “Earlier matrimonial issues were about shouting, physical violence or continuous disagreement. But now we are seeing a new kind of bickering, where couples come into medicine because they argue, but because they become silent,” Sachin says. He further adds, with the lens of emotionally centered therapy (EFT), when partners stop turning to each other for emotional support, they inadvertently break their safe attachment bond.
Bhavvya says, “Emotional shutdown is extremely harmful to overall welfare. Over time, it leads to old loneliness, anxiety and even depression symptoms, while still being rejected by most families as ‘just one phase’.”
2. Demonstration marriage
“Social media, with becoming an integral part of our life, gives priority to modern couples ‘happy looking’ rather than being happy. Due to no real emotional security, couples live a dual life, publicly materials, hollows in private, hollow in private and continuously maintaining this facade are harmful psychological effects of continuous labor,” Bhavvya explains.
“In EFT, we often see couples who have stopped appearing emotionally for each other, but continue to ‘show’ together on social media. It further widens the discrepancy and difference,” says Sachin. Over time, this difference creates a feeling of confusion along with a sense of isolation that no one considers a partner because everything seems fine from the outside.
3. The search for medicine is too late
“When individuals come, they rarely say that ‘we feel far away’, instead, they report anxiety, burning, irritability, or loneliness that they cannot quite explain,” says Bhavya. She notes that emotional neglect in a relationship does not scream, it increases quietly. This cool erosion of connections can have significant psychological consequences, especially when people accept disconnections as a personal failure rather than a relationship.
Sachin emphasized the immediate need to move our approach around therapy, “It is not damage control, but emotional maintenance. The biggest myth we cope with, the joints should try everything on themselves before asking for help. But in fact, first you address the patterns of emotional distance, they are easy to change. Through the lens of EFT, Sachin helps couples to identify breaking into emotional accountability, before they become strict in disconnection.
4. Cultural conditioning
“One of the main causes of emotional difference in Indian marriages can be traced back to childhood. We have often seen that young boys are often asked to ‘strong’ or ‘not crying’, to show emotional vulnerability, considered a female virtue or weakness to show emotional vulnerability. Men are not indifferent,” is not an emotional, “Bhavya is highlighted.
According to Sachin, EFT focuses on supporting such individuals, who communicate first to identify and then make the main feelings like fear, shame, or without seeing them as weaknesses. “When companions learn to be unsafe together, even after years of silence, the relationship starts to grow,” they say.
5. Silent disconnection with yourself
“In traditional marriage, women are often expected to suppress their emotional needs, and over time, they begin to separate from their desires and identity. It is a slow, silent form of emotional irritation. But it is not limited to traditional roles. Even seems to be that women carry out the ownership of an emotional option.
Additionally, she explains that many high-working women show for treatment with burnouts and anxiety, it does not feel that it has stems from years of emotional needs in their relationships.
Sachin confirmed, “In medicine, we have seen that many women cannot express what they want from the relationship because they have never been asked. They have been taught to retain the marriage, no matter what.” He also highlights that in EFT, it often shows women as calming their needs to soften or maintain peace, while male partner assumes the absence of conflict that is equal to healthy relationships. But this dynamic, if left uncontrolled, leads to mutual contingent and long -term resentment.
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