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The world’s best cities may be blessed with busy streets, bustling malls, flashing hoardings and hordes of people, but all this crowd, light and bustle is also a center of loneliness. Isolation is on the rise in top metros, and it’s making people dependent on the simplest things for company. Take South Korea for example, where a recent report revealed how South Korean millennials are keeping a pet rock to deal with the pangs of stress and loneliness. It tells the story of how urban isolation and sadness is pervasive everywhere, including home.
Loss of authentic communication, a culprit
Clinical psychologist and trauma expert Seema Hingorrani says, “In fast-paced cities, we are seeing loneliness becoming a big problem. Most people complain of symptoms of depression and anxiety because they are lonely. There aren’t many people around to do the co-regulation that is so important to our nervous system. When people realize that everyone is busy, you resort to something that can be therapeutic, like having plants or stones around.”
“The mindset is, ‘When I’m alone I need something to ground me,'” says Dr. Seema. So, it’s a grounding technique, but it can’t be a replacement for co-regulation with humans. It’s okay to have a stone, which is calming for the nervous system, and which keeps you from falling apart.
She adds, “This has also led to the loss of authentic relationships. For example, people would like to party with you, join you for drinks and dinner, but no one has time to talk about problems.’
ways to deal with it
Feeling socially isolated can have negative effects on health. Dr. Sneha Sharma, consultant-psychiatrist, Aakash Healthcare, New Delhi, says, “Loneliness is becoming an epidemic and its consequences are far-reaching. As individuals and society grapple with this crisis, there are some solutions at the individual level to overcome feelings of loneliness. She shares a 10-point plan:
1. Start doing things that involve leaving the house.
2. People believe that social interactions should always be meaningful and deep to help combat loneliness. However, this is not entirely true. We are social creatures and any verbal and non-verbal communication with other people helps us feel connected and create a sense of belonging. Therefore, it is important to step out to get groceries/dairy products/fresh fruits and vegetables, even if you are in a neighborhood that is new to you.
3. Identify people who are emotionally important and meaningful to you and invest time a week to stay connected through digital means or to meet in person if possible.
4. Turn loneliness into solitude. The difference between the two is that loneliness is often a negative experience whereas the person experiencing loneliness enjoys their own company. Find things you enjoy doing in your everyday life and start making time for them. For example, if you like listening to podcasts, do that.
5. Invest in your health and wellness. Fill your day with activities that are important for your mental and physical health. This creates a feeling of accomplishment and well-being.
6. Look into pet adoption options based on your resources and situation. Pets can provide company and comfort and reduce feelings of isolation.
7. Grow a garden or get plants. Taking time to care about something other than yourself will bring happiness and satisfaction.
8. Be outside and in nature whenever possible.
9. Try volunteering for something locally, which will help you meet like-minded individuals.
10. Look for clubs that run book clubs/art clubs and similar places that provide opportunities to socialize in your area.
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